Unraveling the Rat Tangle of Family Dynamics
Introduction: The Rat Tangle MetaphorEver heard of a “rat king”? It's when rats get tangled together by their tails, creating a gnarly knot. This image is a perfect metaphor for the tangled, messy nature of family dynamics—what I call the “Rat...
Exploring Duality
Introduction Ever notice how easily we can get triggered by our friends, those we disagree with, or even different parts of ourselves? Or how they can get triggered? Why does this happen? We might think we know the reasons, and maybe we do. But understanding the...
Lessons from Film and Life
Awakening to Presence, Power, and Love: Lessons from Film and Life In our journey toward self-awareness and growth, we often look to stories—whether fictional or real—that resonate with our own experiences. The Matrix of Self framework, which emphasizes Presence,...
Stages of Competence
Stages of Competence in Unveiling Self How does inner growth happen? Think of a time in your life when you took a big step forward in your understanding of yourself. Chances are that whatever led to that big learning moment wasn’t necessarily pleasant. We tend to...
“Comfort” by Aldous Huxley
A New Fresh Thing French hotel-keepers call it Le confort moderne, and they are right. For comfort is a thing of recent growth, younger than steam, a child when telegraphy was born, only a generation older than radio. The invention of the means of being comfortable...
In a Relationship When Nice Isn’t
Our world gets smaller, every time we don’t speak our truth. Our desires for pleasure, safety, connection, better pay, all go numb in the vault of nice. Our boundaries against an unwanted connection, abuse, neglect, misattunement, disrespect, all begin to fade away into something we are impotent to call forth and stand by.
Love | Fear
What if, when faced with hurt, insult or betrayal, you opened into it with love and curiosity, instead of recoiling, clamping down, striking back, running or numbing out? In those moments when someone I love breaches our connection with disdain, devaluing, or...
Were You Programmed for Failure as a Baby?
What if things that happened (or didn’t happen) when you were a baby (that you don’t remember) are affecting you profoundly today, in ways that you don’t know? Leading you like a zombie to do this unhealthy thing or that? Chase away healthy people and chase after...